Jason Knight
2 min readJul 11, 2020

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Step 1: install bootcamp or Linux

Step 2: wonder why the high end processor in your macbook is slower than a walmart $300 special. Almost like it’s thermal throttling even at idle because Apple wouldn’t know proper cooling if it stripped naked, painted itself Noctua tan, and hopped up on a table to sing “oh look at what a giant cooling an I am!”

Step 3: Burn your lap accidentally because you forgot it's a "macbook", not a "laptop"

Step 4: send it back 3 times because the keyboard design is crap, then find out the reason it kept dying was a bad connection internally for the trackpad.

Step 5: Eat Ramen because you've blown a months income on an overpriced rinky poorly made toy, but because you've swallowed the tainted flavor aid you'll sing its praises and blame yourself for any problems. like a cut-rate cultist.

Step 6: Since you drank the flavor-aid you'll buy the next gen model, then realize it being ARM based means no more bootcamp and fusion/virtualbox is too blasted slow to actually do proper testing of fonts and browsers NORMAL people use.

Step 7: Either walk away from development wondering why you failed, again blaming yourself instead of the faulty pile of junk crApple sold you... or give up and buy a real computer since "For people who know nothing about computers, BY people who know nothing about computers" is no plan for success.

But let me tell you what I REALLY think about the “Fisher Price My First Computer” and the sleazy dirtbag predatory company that is Apple.

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Jason Knight
Jason Knight

Written by Jason Knight

Accessibility and Efficiency Consultant, Web Developer, Musician, and just general pain in the arse

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