New Client’s Website Had Some Interesting “Problems”

Whilst officially “Retired” from accessibility and efficiency consulting, I still get people banging down the door offering me work. In a way it feels good to feel needed, and sometimes I really just wish folks would leave me alone. Honestly which is which is determined more by my health day to day than the people and projects in question.

What intrigued me about this one is I kind of know their product market. They are in fact a competitor to a company I did a lot of work for in the mid 2000’s. Let’s just say they manufacture and sell silicone and rubber toys of an adult nature.

Their founder/owner contacted me personally and I was intrigued by three things.

1. An offer of cash up front JUST for a consult to evaluate what was wrong, giving them a write-up of what I thought needed to be done. A more than generous amount of money for the job as well. Then if I can make any simple changes to help he’s willing to pile more on top. I warned him some things might not be simple changes. That’s fine, I help, he pays.
2. Was willing to give me admin access to their hosting just for this consult. Normally I have to twist people’s arms to get that and it’s not information a business like this one should just freely hand out to some rando.
3. Actually quoted Patton asking me to give it to him “double dirty” as he wasn’t a “little old lady at an afternoon tea party.”

An army without profanity couldn’t fight its way out of a piss soaked paper bag.

Basically he needs the truth no matter how much it hurts, because he suspects his own staff of hiding it from him. The past few months he’s felt like certain employees are lying to his face. It’s the problem with hiring yes-men, made worse by an industry where snake oil peddling “framework developers” will do anything to hide their incompetence.

True… so true. It is my belief that I use that word far, far too often.

I also suspect the payment up front part and “hat in hand please” attitude stems from how many “professionals” wouldn’t touch said industry with a 20 foot dildo, even if it’s one of the most…